15 Tips to Cope with a Negative Partner or Spouse

The Problem with Negative Thinking

The problem with negative thinking is that it can make you sick. “Negative emotions, such as anger, fear, and frustration, and negative thinking patterns, such as hostility and cynicism, are normal,” research shows. “But they can become problematic when your negative emotions turn into a habitual outlook on the world. If untreated, heart disease, diabetes, or disability may result.” Thankfully, there are many things you can do to create a more positive mindset – exercising, cultivating gratitude, journaling, seeking professional help, and more.

But what if your spouse or partner has a negative mindset? Maybe they’re pessimistic, worry excessively, or are often critical or dismissive. Living with someone like that can be exhausting and negatively impact your relationship with them. Furthermore, studies show that negative emotions are contagious, so – if you aren’t careful - a negative partner can drag you down with them.

Causes of Negativity 

Sometimes understanding why a person is negative can help. Here are a few common causes of negativity.

• Negativity Bias – the tendency to focus on the negative
• Excessive Stress
• Genes – “Some people are genetically predisposed to see the world darkly,” according to a study.
• Mental Health Conditions, such as depression, OCD, and anxiety
  
  

15 Tips to Cope with a Negative Spouse/Partner

Remember, you can’t change how someone else thinks, feels, or acts, and it isn’t your responsibility to make them feel better. However, you can change how you respond to them. 

Here are fifteen tips for coping with a negative spouse/partner: 

1. Accept that you are not in charge of your partner’s emotions and can’t fix their problems.
2. Don’t accept blame when you aren’t responsible.
3. Don’t overreact if they reject your offer of help.
4. Don’t take the negativity personally.
5. Try to forgive their mistakes and move on.
6. Don’t match your partner’s negative emotions to establish a connection. 
7. Set an Example by staying focused on the positive.
8. Set Boundaries. Your partner has every right to their feelings, but establish what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship.
9. Communicate with your partner to let them know how you’re feeling, to help you understand the root cause of their negativity, and to let them know what is and isn’t acceptable.
10. Regularly, suggest that your partner goes for a walk or does something fun with you.
11. Urge your partner to try new things.
12. Take Care of Yourself.
13. Build relationships with positive people who can bring optimism into your life
14. Develop self-awareness – recognizing and connecting your emotions, core beliefs, thoughts, weaknesses, and strengths.
    
    

15. Seek professional help

Sometimes, you just can’t go it alone, and the help of an experienced counselor can make all the difference in your relationship. Solution Focused Counseling helps resolve and heal relationships to create a win-win for everyone. We use multiple techniques – conflict resolution, mediation, and communication - to move your relationship forward.

If you’re struggling to cope with a negative partner or spouse, contact us today at 610-772-8851, or schedule a free 15-minute consultation.